Well, this prompt fits rather well:

When I’m Depressed…

Look, I know we all get down sometimes and I know my story won’t be any different than someone who has been in the same situation that I’m in now…
In February, I had a baby girl… and my first boyfriend is the father. The first few weeks were horrible; I couldn’t stop crying because I knew that he wasn’t going to take me back… and I’m still in love with him. He’s right now dating some other girl and is moved in with her and her mother.

I know I can’t change his mind about me, and it continues to hurt me a lot. I know I’m stupid for loving him still, but love isn’t stupid. I still wear the ring he gave me; he hasn’t said anything to me for wearing it. And he probably won’t, it’s not like him to ask me to stop wearing something he gave to me.

I’m not sure what to do but wait. I’m convinced he’ll be back… and his mother said he’s matured greatly since Alexis was ‘discovered’, and that has helped me be patient.

I’m not ready to move on… it seems wrong for Alexis to call someone else ‘daddy’.

So, I apparently write when I get depressed. Answered that question.

Random updating time!

I moved back home because of some complications at the apartment. It happens unfortunately. My ex and I have made our amends and are hanging out even. It’s nice.
I haven’t found a job yet, but I’m working towards it, but extremely slowly. It’s horrible.
My sister is at home now; but I don’t know if it’s that worth the annoyance. Ugh.
I’m currently house sitting for a friend’s family as they go on vacation in Florida.
I need to get some things done about the house.
Bye for now.

Hey all! I’ve made it five days without internet! And now I’ve got it back! By God. And it’s fast internet, not that slow ass dial up I was stuck with for so long. It’s awesome in so many ways! Anyway, prepare for more posts that might include strangeness in all it’s glory!

Okay, so a few hundred of you have sometimes read my insane rantings, pitiful attempts at blogging, and random fun times at making fun of the world, but that’s going to be put on hiatus until maybe the end of May.

I’m going to be moving in with my boyfriend and we’re not setting up our internet as quick as we may like. However, I won’t be gone forever, maybe a few weekends here and there until the hiatus, which would start April 18, 2009.

That’s my set moving date; it’s a weekend because that makes it easier for me to move my final bulky item that is my computer desk. Ugh… this thing is so annoying sometimes, but it gets the job done.

I’m not taking that much with me lol. It includes my 19″ LCD TV, clothes, hangars, DVD player, bookoos of movies, books, blankets, pillows, covers, and, of course, my computer.

I should be set when Jay goes off to his job and stuff.
So, expect some hiatus from mid-April to the end of May.

~Tootles

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Wow, I haven’t posted anything that interesting lately… and blogging seems to help my persona so much when it comes to expressing myself in words and phrases instead of actions and reactions.

Jay and I are now apartment hunting. Yay us. I can finally get out of my parents house. He went to look at some apartments today before he went to work, and he really likes on of them. He said he’ll take me to go check it out on maybe Thursday or Friday. One of those days.

I’ve gotten myself sick… ugh… and I need to brush my teeth.

Jay got my the Gloomy the Naughty Grizzly perfume from Hot Topic. OMG, it smells awesome. And what’s even better is that you don’t have to use that much to get a point across.

Ew… I think my potato salad stuff is starting to grow legs, and it’s only been sitting there for a few hours… I really need to do the dishes.

Hem… ran out of things to say…

~Tootles

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Wow, I just had an adventurous 4 days updating, labeling, saving, adding, pasting, deleting, restoring, bitching at, dragging, re-labeling, uninstalling, reinstalling, and finally being happy with my music library and the software that is required for my MP3 player.

My Zune, which is only 4GB (and now I have double that in music lol), has its own personal program that is needed so you can add music to it. This program, which is Microsoft based, is the spawn that has taken over my computer.
I had to relabel Gary Allan and Evanescence about 100 times before I just relabeled in Windows Media Player.
That fixed that problem.

Media Player spawned some of its own problems of relabeling and filing things under the wrong artist or album. This was easily fixed by deleting the problem files and then reloading them onto my computer from my friend’s borrowed XHD.
Finally fed up with Zune relabeling things and screwing up my music even more, I un-installed the program, fixed everything with Media Player, and then reinstalled the Zune software.
That fixed that problem.

After deleting all the music off of my MP3 player and reloading what I wanted onto it, I found that I had only 2.5GB of worthy music that I actually wanted. It’s kinda strange, most of it’s from my friend’s XHD, but there’s a lot of stuff from my computer on there to. I know I’ll eventually find more music to load on there, I just haven’t found it yet.

As of this moment, I only have 1394 songs or 91.5 hours worth of music. I’m proud of that stuff lol.

Even though it took me 4 days to figure it out and finally get the music where I want it, I’m proud of myself.

~Tootles

Writing is my way of expressing myself; it’s my portal to different worlds when I want to get away and it helps me pass the time when I’m bored. I’ve written many different stories, from anime to live-action. It’s an interesting past time that I’ve always enjoyed. I would enter original stories into the school contests; even though I wouldn’t win, I would be happy for the person who did.

I sometimes babble on and on about certain stories, and it does tend to get on peoples nerves if I’m not too careful about which story I talk about in front of them. They tend to listen to my rantings until they’ve heard enough or just don’t want to hear about my interesting characters any longer; this has happened recently lol.

I’ve been writing stories for a very long time, and I beta my best friend’s stories so she can have awesome stories to post on FanFiction.net. I’ve also contributed a few pages to her most recent invention.

Recently, I completed three full NCIS stories; they’re on FanFiction.net under the author of ‘Syana Harper’. I’m now trying to work on my constantly accumulating CSI: Miami stories and a few originals that have come back to my attention.

Some of my stories spawn from things that happen in the news, what happens with friends, and random scenes from within my favorite shows. I actually cried while writing a portion of LeeAnn’s story a few months ago; she’s the only one allowed to kill of my original character lol. It was devastating to write Alexis’ death.

So, writing is my inspiration, my soul, and my personality. It’s my personal journey of ‘self’ and my outlet for rage, happiness, pain, joy, and love.

That’s all for now
~Tootles

So, I finally found a topic that actually might take a while to write. So, let’s answer the topic of ‘My Three Closest Friends’.

First, there’s Matt. I met him through my brother in 1999. He’s an awesome guy who would help people out when they need it most and Matt is a all around cool person to hang out with.
Though I haven’t talked to Matt in a while, I know what he’s been up to. He moved to Fairmont and is having a grand time.
The one time I will remember most is when Matt, Melissa, and I went to Melissa’s house to sip Smirnoff and Dr. Pepper, eat Doritos, lasagna, chocolate, and random increments of candy. And all the while watching Donnie Darko, 300, The Breakfast Club, and Lady in the Water until 5AM. This was back in October 2007. I haven’t seen much of Matt since.

Secondly, there’s Kevin. I met him through online RPGs, mostly Outlaw Star and Gundam Wing. Our characters developed a reliance to one another and we also became close friends. He’s funny, quirky, and sarcastic; and the world would probably end if we met.
I talked to Kevin last night on the phone for almost two hours. He’s going to college at UCONN and is kinda loving it lol.
He’s contributed a lot of content to some stories that I’ve been trying to write for over two years. It’s insane; the FullMetal Alchemist RP left me with 61 raw pages of stuff to edit.

And finally, there’s LeeAnn. I met her my freshman year of high school (2002) through another friend of mine. We instantly connected as I began editing her stories and generally helping her to become an awesome author. Her blog link is in my Blog Roll under ‘Zi’.
I talked with LeeAnn last night; she has a cold and sounds completely awful, like she’s going to keel over in the next thirty seconds.
Like I said, I beta her stories; you can find her on FanFiction.net under the pen name of Zi Marquise if you want to read and comment on her stuff.

Well, those are my three closest friends. I’m proud to have each and every one of my friends, but these three make the exception; the only one that tops them all is my boyfriend, Jay.

~Tootles